


By My Side

by kyewopen



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: 5 times + 1, Anxiety Attacks, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Minor Character Death, bisexual josh, he's also very gay for josh, joshler - Freeform, tyler has anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 20:52:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11813964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyewopen/pseuds/kyewopen
Summary: Five times Josh helps Tyler when he's having a bad day and one time Tyler does





	By My Side

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is the first fic I'm posting on AO3 and English is not my native language so please be cool (And feel free to correct the mistakes)

1.

 

Tyler doesn't know how it started. He was doing the laundry, waiting for Josh to go back home, the morning went fine and then the second after, everything felt weird. His body felt weird, his skin felt weird, like he was trapped inside this envelope of flesh and he wanted to get out. He wanted to feel. It wasn't the first time he felt like that, he was used to it by now. He could do something, anything, and then everything felt wrong. The world. His life. His body. His relations. The way the walls were painted, the texture of the carpet he was walking on barefoot. It just didn't feel _right_.

With a slight movement, he lets go of all the clothes he had in his hands, they fall on the garage's floor and Tyler leaves the room. He stands up and tiptoes to their room. There is nobody in this flat except him and this stupid cat Josh has always been head over heels for but Tyler feels the need to tiptoe. He doesn't want anybody to notice him. He wants to be discreet. He wants to be invisible to the whole world. He feels like his presence is disturbing, like his own body is a mistake. Maybe it is.

He lies down on his bed and stares at the ceiling. And the ceiling doesn't feel right. It's too white. It's too smooth. Or at least that is what Tyler is imagining. He never actually touched it. But it looks smooth. And Tyler wants it to look rough. With a few holes in it and a few cracks. Tyler closes his eyes and he can't stop thinking. About everything. About the times he used to run in this forest with Josh to reach this little tree-house they had built with their fathers. They were so reckless. He was so reckless. He wasn't asking himself a thousand questions at every gestures he was making or at every single words he was saying. He was _free_.

Tyler is so immersed in these memories that he doesn't hear Josh gently knocking on the door. It's only when his friend opens the door slowly, just enough to squeeze his head between the door and the wall, that Tyler looks up to him and smiles sadly at him. Tyler had turn off the light and so they're both in the dark but Tyler can still see Josh squinting his eyes to let them adjust to the gloom. Only then Josh makes his way to the bed and sits down next to him, saying nothing. They both remain silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company. Tyler is looking down to Josh's hand which is gently squeezing his tight.

 

'Is it getting bad again, sweetheart?' Josh asks.

 

'No.' He answers. 'I don't know.'

 

'Wanna talk about it?'

 

'I don't know.' Tyler repeats with a broken voice.

 

'It's okay.' Josh says while slowly putting his arms around his small frame. 'You're okay. I'm here. You're alright.'

 

And just like that, he is.

 

 

 

2.

 

They're on tour. They just ended their show in Denver and Tyler is backstage in front of this mirror, looking at the black paint disappearing into the sink and then he can feel everything. The anger, the hate, the sadness, the disappointment, the nostalgia. Cause everything seems so easy. Like his life is all planned till his death. They would get up, record an album, release it, play shows, meet fans, play more shows and everything feels so _easy_. He feels like his life is one big scam. He knows they have been through so many dark times to reach what they have today but now, now he has everything he ever dreamed of, he has this band, he has the success, he has the fans, he even has a freaking perfect boyfriend. He has the life he was dreaming of when he was ten but all of it feels so beautiful, it feels so beautiful and so wrong. What if it all ends? What if it all collapses?

And the panic is rising up in his chest and suddenly he can feel his heart pounding in his entire body and his body is shaking and his hands are sweaty and he can't breathe. And then the door is wide open and Mark is standing there and Tyler _can't breathe_.

 

'Josh!' Mark says with a loud voice and then Tyler is looking up and his body is so tense and tears are rolling down his cheeks and he is _terrified_.

 

'Leave me with him. Close the door.' Orders Josh before going inside this room and walking towards his best-friend, placing his two hands on the back of Tyler's neck, trying to hold him steady.

 

'Tyler.' Josh says. 'Tyler, look at me.'

 

Tyler is gasping for air and his whole body is shaking and he is closing his eyes so hard.

 

'Tyler. Open your eyes.' Josh says.

 

'I can't! I can't, Josh I- I can't! I can't. I can't.' Tyler is repeating these same words over and over again and Mark is slowly opening the door, alarmed by the panicked voice of his friend but Josh turns his head back to him and gives him a knowing look. This knowing look. This look meaning _It's okay, I got this, you can close the door._ And Mark understands.

 

Josh's eyes focus on Tyler again and his thumbs are gently caressing Tyler's cheeks and his lips slowly make their way to the smaller man's forehead.

 

'I can't open my eyes.' Tyler repeats and his voice still seems panicked but he seems like he is regaining his breath and then Josh is holding him in his arms and Tyler bursts into tears, burying his face into his neck.

 

'I love you.' Tyler says, still crying.

 

'I love you too.' Josh answers while gently stroking Tyler's hair. 'Wanna talk about it?' He asks, Tyler's face still buried in his neck.

 

'I got scared...' He starts. 'The band, it... It means so much to me and... Josh, it all seems too easy.' He continues, freeing himself from Josh's embrace. He looks at him for a few seconds and Josh's face is so concerned and so serious and he is watching him so carefully and Tyler knows he'll understand.

 

'What is it that seems so easy to you, Tyler?' Josh asks in a gentle voice.

 

'Everything!' Tyler says, angrily. 'Everything, the band, our life, my family... Us.'

 

'And is it a bad thing?' Josh asks. 'Is it a bad thing? That's it's easy?'

 

'No but... You just don't understand, Josh! You never will, I-' Tyler yells, losing patience.

 

'Then explain it to me, Tyler.'

 

'We don't have a backup plan, Josh! We tried so hard to... To have what we have right now. To reach this point. But now we have it... It all seems so easy. And I'm scared. What if it all ends? What if the band stops? What if the fans stop coming to our show? What if... What if we start a gig and realize... Realize there's no one in the venue? What if you end up being tired of me? What if you break up with me? What if I break up with you? What if we end up hating each other? What if you want to quit the band and become... I don't know, what if you want to become a freaking firefighter?' Tyler says and suddenly, he is hyperventilating again.

 

'What if it happens?' Josh asks and Tyler stares at him, confused.

 

'What... What do you mean?' He asks with a small voice.

 

'What if it actually happens? We never know, Tyler. Maybe these things you're scared of will happen. I won't try and convince you that it's gonna be alright. Maybe it won't. Maybe the band will stop. Maybe we will have to find another jobs. Maybe you'll break up with me or maybe I will. But the thing is... It's not likely, is it? Right now, it doesn't seem like it. You never know what the future is planning for you Tyler, but you tried so hard to reach this moment. You tried so hard and now you have it all, you're afraid of losing it all?' Josh says and Tyler is just listening.

 

'I'm not saying it's a bad thing, Tyler. It's good. Asking yourself all these questions, it's good. It means you're not taking everything for granted, and that you're still _thinking_. But even if that seems easy, Tyler, and I'm not saying it is. So what? Don't you think you can just enjoy this? Enjoy the band, enjoy this life, enjoy the shows, enjoy... Us? Don't you think you deserve it?'

 

'I... I don't know.' Tyler says, looking at Josh with bright eyes.

 

'It's okay if you can't.' Josh answers. 'I'll help you.' He adds, taking Tyler in his arms a second time. They stay in this position for a few minutes, Mark slowly opening the door and smiling at his two friends.

 

'Also, Tyler?' Josh asks.

 

'Hum?'

 

'Why do you think I would want to become a firefighter?'

 

And then, Tyler bursts out laughing.

 

 

 

3.

 

_'Okay so I know they're together and stuff but on the pictures/interviews, I always feel like Josh needs Tyler a lot more than he needs him.'_

 

It started with this stupid tweet. Tyler was in his bunk and was lazily scrolling Twitter when his eyes fell on his stupid tweet. And usually he wouldn't have taken it seriously and maybe the person who tweeted it wasn't even serious about it but the fact remains that Tyler is now sitting in the sofa, gazing into space and he can't stop thinking about this freaking tweet. Cause it was all so wrong. And for a moment, he is even tempted to take his phone and to answer to whoever was this person and to tell them that they're _so wrong_. He needs Josh. He has always needed him from the moment he laid eyes on his blue hair in this small venue. He has always _needed him_. And just because he's being more discreet about it, about this relationship on the social medias or on interviews doesn't mean fans have to take it for a fact. Cause it's not. It's wrong and Tyler is so angry.

That's why he is gazing into space for the last thirty minutes and Josh is right next to him but surely doesn't think anything of it because it's not unusual for Tyler to stare at nothing in particular and remain silent for a few minutes, thinking. And right now, he is thinking of all the things Josh has ever done for him and they are so many things that his brain loses track of time and he becomes so overwhelmed by his thought. He feels too aware of all the things he feels for this pink-haired boy sitting next to him and he feels like his chest is going to explode. Because he needs him. He needs him so much. He needs him _too_ much. And then he just can't take it anymore.

 

'They're just so fucking stupid, god!' He yells and throws away his phone and he can vaguely see Mark jump of surprise and looking weirdly at him but Tyler ignores him and storms off of the tour-bus.

 

He crosses the parking lot and sits on a law wall not so far away from the venue, looking down at his feet. He doesn't know why he became so emotional just because of this meaningless tweet that somebody who don't even know them personally tweeted but right now he just can't help it and a few tears are rolling down his cheeks but he quickly wipes them off with his jacket and a few minutes later, he can feel someone sitting next to him and he doesn't even need to look up to know it's Josh. This one doesn't say anything and just waits for Tyler to speak about whatever is wrong. But Tyler doesn't know how to begin and he feels ashamed to be so affected by this tweet. Usually, they would joke around on Twitter, liking tweets of people saying they hate Twenty One Pilots, saying they suck and that they don't even write good music. They just don't care about all of this. Usually, they would laugh at it because these people don't know them and they just don't understand, that's what Tyler used to say to Josh but right now, he can't. Right now, he feels like it's too important. Right now, he feels like nobody can joke about something like that.

 

'You know I need you, right?' He asks Josh, turning his face to look at his friend.

 

'I do.' Josh says with a smile and then he's squinting his eyes like he always does and Tyler is looking at him and he can't hide it anymore.

 

'No you don't understand, Josh. I need you.' He repeats. 'I _need_ you.' He repeats another time while pointing his finger at himself.

 

'Tyler.' Josh says, placing his hand on the singer's cheek. 'I understand. I do.'

 

Tyler is looking at him carefully in the eyes, trying to make sure that Josh does understand but a part of himself still thinks that Josh doesn't get it.

 

'You need to.' He adds. 'You need to understand Josh.' He says. 'A fan... They posted this tweet. Saying that they thought you needed me way more than I needed you and-'

 

'Tyler.' Josh says.

 

'It's not true!' Tyler says with a loud voice. 'It's not true, you know? How can you say something like that about somebody you don't even know? She or he doesn't know us, Josh. They can't know something like that just by watching interviews or...'

 

'Tyler.'

 

'Or... I don't know, watching photos you know? Isn't it selfish? It's so fucking selfish.' Tyler continues, not aware of the few tears rolling down his cheeks and not aware of the way Josh looks at him. 'They don't _know_.' He repeats. 'But I do. I know. I'm the only one to know. I was so angry at them and I know it's stupid to get worked up by this but-'

 

'Tyler!'

 

'I was so angry and then I thought about it and I... I need you, Josh. I need you so much and I love you. And I know i'm not the perfect best-friend and I'm so far from being the perfect boyfriend but I need you so much and'

 

'Tyler.'

 

'And then I thought about you and that maybe one day you're gonna be annoyed with me and I don't, I can't... If you leave, I'll... I'm... You're everything and I can't... I _need_ you and'

 

'Tyler!'

 

And this time Tyler _hears_ it. And he jumps with surprise and it's only when Josh wipes his tears with his thumbs that he realizes that he was crying the whole time and he's watching Josh and he can't look at anything else.

 

'I know.' Josh says with a large smile, his eyes squinting once again. 'I know all of it, okay? I _know_. This tweet is garbage and utter shit and it doesn't even _matter_. Because you said it yourself. You know it. I know it. That's what's important. Nobody else needs to know.'

 

Tyler looks at him carefully and crashes their lips together and Josh kisses him back slowly. And Tyler couldn't ever get tired of him.

 

A few hours later, Tyler is lying on his bunk, his head leaning on Josh's shoulders. This one is sleeping and Tyler can't help smiling. And he knows he's not supposed to do it, he knows he doesn't need to but he wants the whole world to know how much in love he is with this pink-haired boy. And so he's taking a picture of him and posts it on Instagram.

 

_'Is he even real?'_

 

4.

 

It happens just like that. Tyler is sitting on his sofa in the tour-bus, waiting for Mark to warn them that it's time for the soundcheck. He's watching a tv show on his computer and then his phone is ringing and he reads it. A message from his mother.

 

_'Tyler, I'm sorry to tell you that but your cousin Will committed suicide. He died this morning in the hospital. I don't know if you can talk right now but you can call me anytime, okay sweetheart? I'm thinking about you.'_

 

Tyler is reading this text over and over again and he can't _believe_ what he's reading. It's like his own brain was refusing to get it. And so he calls his mother who doesn't have much time, telling him she needs to call his sister and his brothers. She's talking to him but Tyler doesn't _understand_. He only hears a few words. _He was in a dark place. Took too many pills. The funeral is in two days. I'll call you back._

Tyler wants to say something to his mother. Anything. But he can't. He just can't. And then his mother is hanging up and he keeps his phone next to his ear for a few seconds before letting it fall into the couch, his eyes gazing into space. He didn't know his cousin that much, he had only seen him a few times and when he did, he would only exchange a few words and he would talk about what was going on with Twenty One Pilots and that was it. Their conversation never lasted for a long time but Tyler liked him. He knew this one was in depression for two years and had really bad anxiety and he understood. He always did. He knew the feeling just too much. And maybe that was the reason why he was so affected by his death. Cause he had been there before and he knew how hard it was to keep faith and to keep going even though everything is pushing you to give up. But then Josh is opening the door of the tour-bus and Tyler looks up to him and he doesn't have time to say anything that his friend is already talking.

 

'Hey Ty so I met this fan while I was visiting this city center and he was seeing us for the first time and he had this tattoo of... Are you okay?' Josh asks, looking at Tyler with a concerned look.

 

'Hum... My cousin... Will. He... He's dead, he... He killed himself. This morning.' Tyler answers. These words were still not making sense even if he was pronouncing them.

 

'Oh my... Tyler, I'm so sorry.' Josh says while sitting next to him.

 

'It's okay... I mean of course it's not okay but I... I didn't really know him you know. I wasn't... He was suffering a lot and I guess... I guess he couldn't take it anymore.'

 

'Yeah... Are you okay? Do you want to be alone for a few minutes? Do you want to cancel the show?' Josh asks, sounding really concerned.

 

'No, I'm good, don't worry. Just shocked. We should go... For the soundcheck.' He says, getting up.

 

'Wait Tyler-' Josh adds but Tyler already left the tour-bus and is already walking towards the venue.

 

But he can feel it. His pain. Will's pain. He can feel it in his body. He can feel it when he's watching this empty venue. He can feel it when he's listening to their supporting act. He can feel it when he hears these people scream. He can feel it when he's singing, when he's jumping off his piano, when he hears Josh's drumming. He can feel it. That's the only thing he can feel. The pain. The unbearable pain Will must have been in to decide to swallow these pills. He can feel it in his whole body and suddenly tears are rolling down his cheeks but he quickly wipes them off with his hand, not wanting for the fans or Josh to see it. But by the way the drummer is looking at him, he knows he saw him and this one is looking at him carefully and Tyler knows what Josh is silently asking. _Do you want to stop the show? Do you want to leave this stage? It's okay if you do._ But Tyler shakes his head and keeps singing the second chorus of Car Radio, and the pain is too heavy and his whole body is aching but he _keeps going_. He needs to. He doesn't have the right to put an end to this show. He can't and he won't.

And then Trees is ending and they're bowing down to the public and Tyler's whole body begins to shake and he can feel Josh's hand squeezing his shoulder harder than usual, like he's supporting him and it's only when they reach the dressing room that Tyler lets go of everything and collapses in the couch. Josh is right behind him and puts a pillow under his head and lifts his legs to place them on the couch. He sits on a chair and Tyler looks at him for a few seconds before sitting up straight, ignoring Josh's comment, telling him he needs to lie down.

 

'It's okay... I'm good.'

 

'You're not!' Josh says, and his voice is angrier than Tyler expected. 'I swear to god, Tyler, you're so fucking careless sometimes. What happened back there? How many times do I have to tell you? If you're not feeling well, we stop. If it's getting too much for you to handle, we _stop_.'

 

'But the fans...'

 

'Forget about the fans, god damn it! I know they're important to you and trust me, they're just as important for me but you need to put your well-being first, Tyler. Your health is more important. It always will be. Okay?'

 

'Okay.' Tyler says.

 

'How are you feeling?' Josh asks, and he isn't sounding angry anymore. Just concerned.

 

'I'm just so... It just hurts... It hurts to much and I don't even know why. I didn't even know him, why am I so affected?'

 

'You're just being human Tyler. It's okay. It's normal.' Josh answers.

 

'But... I could feel his pain, Josh. I could feel it and I was... God, I can't, Josh. I can't stop asking myself... If he couldn't do it, Josh then maybe I can't either. And at the same time... I feel like I don't have the right to feel like that sometimes. I have everything, I'm rich, I have you, I have my family, I have a good situation, I shouldn't feel like that. '

 

'Tyler, listen to me. You can have everything you want, you can have the success, the money, it doesn't make you any different. You still have your problems and it's valid. Your emotions are valid. But please let go of Will's pain. His case doesn't have anything to do with yours, okay? His pain isn't yours so please don't carry it with you, you have enough on your mind already. And you'll get through it because I will fucking drag you forwards if that's what it takes.'

 

'I love you.' Tyler simply answers with a small voice.

 

'Now what do you think of going back to the hotel and taking a bath with your perfect boyfriend?'

 

'Sorry did you say perfect boyfriend?'

 

'Shut up and follow me, would you?' Josh asks, offering his hand and Tyler takes it, letting him guide him through the corridors. Tyler is completely shattered and his eyes are closed and he can feel Josh moving his hand to his shoulder and placing the other one on his waist. He jumps with surprise when he hears all these fans screaming once Josh opens the door of the venue and he opens his eyes and he can vaguely see Josh put one of his finger to his mouth to ask them to be quiet. Then everything turns quiet once again and Tyler gets lost in Josh's embrace.

 

 

 

5.

 

Tyler startles and wakes up, bathed in sweat and gasping for air. He doesn't remember what his nightmare was about but he supposes it was a bad one because he is terrified. He turns on his bedside lamp and looks at Josh for a few seconds, not so sure whether to wake him up. After a few seconds, he finally decides against it, feeling that he shouldn't be waking up this pink-haired boy just for a usual nightmare. He takes a deep breath and tries his best not to move an inch because he knows that Josh is suffering of a severe lack of sleep lately and this one seems so at peace and he just doesn't want to ruin that. He quickly turns off the light and keep his eyes wide open, squinting his eyes to try and see the smallest details of the ceiling.

 

'Was it another of your nightmares, sweetheart?' Josh says, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and soon to be husband.

 

'Don't worry about it Jishwa, I'm fine, you can go back to sleep' Tyler answers, still burying his face into his neck.

 

Tyler quickly kisses Josh's cheek and looks at him for a few seconds, his hand playing with some strands of Josh's pink hair.

 

'You know I can hear you, right?' Josh says, opening his eyes with difficulty.

 

'I didn't say anything!' Tyler answers with a small smile.

 

'You're thinking.'

 

'Oh yeah? And does it keep Mr. Dun from sleeping?' Tyler asks, amused.

 

'Yeah. You're _loud_.'

 

'You can't stop me from thinking, Josh.' Tyler says and lets out a small laugh when Josh sighs.

 

'Well then stop being so loud.' Josh answers. A few minutes go by but Tyler can't sleep and before he can say anything, Josh's eyes are wide open once again. 'You're doing it again. Something's bothering you.' He says. 'What was your nightmare about?' Josh asks, knowing he won't be able to sleep until Tyler is getting everything out of his chest.

 

'I don't know... I just remember you screaming my name but that's it... You were in so much pain.' Tyler adds and Josh quickly kisses his forehead.

 

'Well, I'm fine, see?' And Tyler nods but Josh knows it's not it. There is something else that Tyler doesn't dare talking about.

 

'There's something else. Tell me.'

 

'Are you having seconds thoughts about the wedding?' Tyler asks and if Josh had trouble to keep his eyes open, he's now wide awake and he turns on the light because the matter is too important and he needs to see Tyler's face.

 

'Of course not.' He says. 'Why would you think something like that?'

 

'I don't know, I just... Sometimes I just feel like I start to get on your nerves.'

 

'You're not.' Josh says as soon as the last word goes out of Tyler's mouth. 'You're not. And you won't. I could never get tired of you and I can't wait to marry the hell out of you.'

 

'I still wonder how I manage to get you to like me.' Tyler says and Josh lets out a small laugh, kissing him briefly.

 

'You didn't get me to like you. I just did.' And Josh's smile gets bigger when Tyler kisses him a second time.

 

'I could ask you the same, you know.' Josh says. 'I still wonder how you could fall in love with me. I mean, I snore, I'm obsessed with cats and aliens conspiracies, and I keep losing my shit and I'm so bad at remembering Twenty One Pilot's lyrics.' He adds and Tyler is kissing him again, a huge smile on his face.

 

'There are other things you're good at.' Tyler says with a cocky smile and Josh bursts out laughing.

 

'Oh yeah? Such as...?' Josh asks, kissing him hard.

 

'Hum... You're good at... Making pancakes.' Tyler says

 

'I knew you only loved me for my pancakes!' Josh cries out in a dramatic way and Tyler is the one to crack up this time, Josh following him soon after.

 

And in this moment, Tyler wonders why it took him so long to propose to this beautiful boy.

 

 

 

 

+1

 

Tyler knows Josh isn't feeling well. He knows. He can see it and he doesn't know why and he wants to help him but he just can't because Josh doesn't let him. Every time Tyler is making a step towards him, Josh seems to make one step away from him. Tyler isn't really surprised though because Josh has never been expressive. He doesn't really confide in anyone. He never really has, and that since Tyler meets him. Of course he knows that Josh does his best with him because he knows how much important it is for Tyler but sometimes he just can't.

And Tyler tries to understand, believe him, he does but right now he is hurt and he tries his best to respect Josh's boundaries but he just feels the urge need to help him, to make him feel better, to listen to what he feels inside and to at least try to give him some advice. But Josh remains as quiet as the grave and Tyler doesn't know what to do. He tried everything. He tried to convince him to open up to him, he tried to write to him, thinking that maybe Josh would be more comfortable telling about what was wrong without needing to speak. He even tried to stay silent, waiting for him to come to him but nothing worked. And now every time Tyler enters the same room as him, Josh pretends to have something to do and leaves almost straight away. They're not sleeping in the same bunk anymore and Tyler is so hurt. And he misses him and Mark knows that something is going on between his two friends but he can't seem to reach Josh more than Tyler can.

It's nearly the end of the tour and Tyler is in the hostel room, patiently waiting for Josh to return. This one left the hotel this morning without warning him and it's now 4pm and Tyler starts to worry. Because he always worries for Josh and when he can finally hear the lock of the door, he gets up as quickly as he can and then the drummer enters the room and Tyler smiles wildly at him and comes to him to kiss him.

 

'Where have you been?' Tyler tries to ask him in a casual way.

 

'Out.' Josh answers.

 

'Okay.' Tyler says.

 

'I'm taking a shower' Josh says but before he can lock himself in the bathroom, Tyler gathers up all the confidence and courage he has and speaks up, trying to sound determined.

 

'You know you can't go on and avoid me like that, Josh.' He says. 'You're gonna have to talk to me eventually. Or at least talk to someone. You can't just withdraw into yourself like that. It's not good for you.'

 

'For god's sake Tyler, I'm not isolating myself.' Josh answers, loudly.

 

'Stop it.' Tyler whispers. 'Just stop it!' He repeats, louder. 'What the hell is wrong with you, Josh? You've been avoiding me for two weeks, I try to reach you but you don't even care! Open up to me, what's going on? What's wrong? Let me help you, let anyone help you but please don't let it eat you.'

 

'I'm fine, Tyler.' Josh repeats for the hundred times before trying to close the bathroom's door but Tyler quickly puts his arm between the door and the wall so Josh can't close it.

 

'Don't you trust me anymore?' He asks.

 

'I do.' Josh says, his voice loud but Tyler knows he's being sincere. He can hear it.

 

'Then let me help you, Josh. Let me try. Please.' Tyler adds, taking Josh's hand in his and letting his fingers play with this ring.

 

'Why are you always so fucking worried about me?' Josh says, angrily.

 

'Because that's what I'm supposed to do!' Tyler yells. 'As your husband. As your boyfriend. As your _friend_. Why are you so afraid of opening up to me?'

 

Tyler screams the last words and he is so angry that he can feel his hands shaking but then Josh screams even harder and Tyler jumps with surprise.

 

'Cause I'm supposed to be the solid one!'

 

Tyler is looking at Josh and this one can't hide it anymore and he bursts into tears. And that's when Tyler understands. And he feels so stupid not to have think about it earlier but now he does. Josh runs one of his hands across his face and Tyler doesn't wait any longer to take the red haired boy in his arms, guiding him to the bed and helping him sit down next to him.

 

'I'm supposed to be strong. I'm supposed to take care of you, not the other way around.' He says. 'You already have so much on your shoulders, I don't want you to carry my problems. They're mine. Not yours.'

 

'You, silly boy.' Tyler whispers before placing his hand on Josh's hair. 'I'm not as sensitive as you think I am. Don't ever be afraid of talking to me about what's going on inside your head because you think I can't take it, okay? That's not how it works. That's not how I want us to be, okay?'

 

'Okay.' Josh whispers, like he was ashamed of feeling weak.

 

'You're not weak for talking to someone about your problems, Josh. That's not what it is.' Tyler adds, like he could read Josh's mind. 'So what has been bugging you, sweetie?'

 

'Just... Everything. The tour, the shows, the interviews, it was too much and I couldn't... I guess it was too much pressure. You know how nervous I am and I... I guess I just had a small breakdown.'

 

'Come here.' Tyler tells him, lying down and opening his arms to him. Josh huddles against him, Tyler slowly tracing small patterns into his back.

 

'Are you okay now? Do you think you can handle the end of the tour?' Tyler asks, concerned.

 

'It's nearly over, don't worry, I'll be fine as long as you're by my side.'

 

'Always.'

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> That's it! I really hope you liked it (I'm kind of self-conscious about my fics) and don't hesitate to leave comments, I'm curious about what complete strangers can think about my works! Thank you!


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